Recently, while helping my child with his math tables during his on going vacation, I was struck by a significant realization. As an anxious parent, I was determined to prevent him from forgetting his math skills over the break. However, as I taught him, I noticed that my long-standing anxiety about math was influencing my teaching approach.
Math has always been a challenging subject for me. Throughout my childhood, I struggled with learning numbers and understanding mathematical logic. This difficulty fostered a deep-seated anxiety that I carried into adulthood. When I became a parent, I vowed that my children would not endure the same anxiety I did around math. I wanted them to feel confident and unburdened by the fear of making mistakes.
Despite my best intentions, I observed my child’s anxiety surfacing as we worked on his math tables. He was so anxious about reciting the tables orally that he hesitated to answer my questions. When I asked him why, he responded, “Mom, what if I make a mistake?” Although he knew I wouldn’t scold him, his fear of making errors was palpable.
This response prompted me to reflect deeply. I realized that his self-doubt and high self-expectations were suffocating his ability to feel comfortable and confident in his learning. Before moving to the next question, I paused and considered how I could make him feel more at ease.
After a moment of contemplation, I sat him down and asked him to share his thoughts. It became clear that his anxiety stemmed from an unrealistic expectation of perfection—he didn’t want to make a single mistake. I told him, “Son, I love you even when you make mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes.” Initially, he resisted, worried about the consequences of being wrong. I encouraged him to try making a mistake to see that it was not the end of the world.
When he finally gave a wrong answer, I asked him how he felt. He admitted that he felt bad because it was incorrect. I used this opportunity to teach him a valuable lesson: making mistakes is a natural part of being human. Accepting our mistakes doesn’t mean we stop learning; it means we give ourselves the freedom to learn without guilt.
This experience was a powerful reminder of the importance of creating a supportive and understanding learning environment. By allowing my child to make mistakes without fear, I helped him build confidence and resilience. It’s a lesson I hope to carry forward, not just in teaching math, but in all aspects of parenting.
