Accepting Uncertainty in a World of Unknowns
Many of us struggle with uncertainty, especially when it comes to making decisions or understanding situations that feel unclear. The desire to know the truth can become an obsession, one that keeps us stuck in a cycle of overanalyzing, doubting, and fearing the unknown. But what if the very act of chasing certainty is what’s making us suffer?
In a recent therapy session with my therapist, I was grappling with my discomfort around uncertainty. I wanted to know the absolute truth about a situation, to pin down every detail so I could feel safe. But my therapist offered me a statement that changed my perspective:
“I don’t know what I don’t know.”
At first, this idea was unsettling. I had believed that if I searched hard enough, if I replayed past events, questioned my emotions, and analyzed every angle…. I would eventually land on the truth. But this mindset was keeping me stuck in a loop. The harder I tried to know everything, the more anxious and frustrated I became.
Uncertainty can feel like a threat. Our brains are wired to seek patterns and predict outcomes to keep us safe. When we don’t have all the answers, we fill in the gaps with assumptions which are often negative ones. We convince ourselves that if we just knew the full truth, we could prevent pain, avoid mistakes, or control the future.
But this is an impossible goal. Isn’t it? The truth is that the fear of the unknown doesn’t go away by knowing everything. It eases when we learn to tolerate the fact that we will never have all the answers.
How do we find freedom in the Unknown?
A. Remember that there are limits to certainty.
B. Gain awareness and be mindful when you’re overanalyzing and be mindful to process and move on.
C. Learn to sit with discomfort
And finally trust yourself
Moving on from the need for certainty is not about giving up, it’s about freeing yourself from a trap. When we stop chasing the impossible goal of knowing everything, we create space for peace, flexibility, and trust in ourselves.
I’m still working on embracing uncertainty, but this shift in mindset has already brought relief. Instead of seeing the unknown as a threat, I’m beginning to see it as a part of life that doesn’t have to control me.
And maybe, just maybe, accepting that I don’t know what I don’t know is the closest thing to truth we can ever find.
What helps you cope with uncertainty?
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Suman Khanna
Counselling Psychologist,
Founder Mind Unwind
